5 Important Lessons I Have Learned in Life
“Every person is a work in progress” — Anon
I. Money is incidental and purpose is paramount.
The first big lesson that I have learned in life is that money is incidental for our existence and purpose in life is paramount. Once you have a purpose, money follows. There are of course, certain prerequisites attached to the nature of your purpose.Personally, I think it would be best to have a purpose that ennobles people rather than destroy them. Of course, there exist people who have sinister purposes, intentional or otherwise, to advance their goals. And many of them are very wealthy. But I think a person’s legacy for the next generation matters a lot. Our existence is finite for a reason. We create, innovate and push advancements in technology to the limit. But even all the advancements are finite.They are replaced by future advancements as people progress. What goes on is change. The saying that the only two constants in this world are death and change comes into play here. So corollary to that, how do we stay alive even when we are dead to be continually relevant to the changes still steamrolling towards infinity? We need to leave a very good legacy that can improve, at the very least, and ennoble, at best, the next generation or generations that follow us.
II .People are different yet all the same.
The second most important thing I have learned is that people are all the same but different. I use to have certain stereotypical perceptions of people coming from different ethnic, religious, social, economic, career or gender backgrounds. I was wrong. We are all the same. We hurt, we care or want to,we have varying needs but we all have needs,we all get hungry, we all need to do something to survive, we get sick then we die. Ok some of these things I have mentioned may be, in varying degrees, different for different people but answer me this. Who among you does not have needs, or never hurt, or never cared for anyone or anything(or want to anyway), or never get hungry, or didn't hustle to survive, or never get sick. And the last question is, who among you expects not to die?
III. It is better to have tried than not having tried at all.
The third big life lesson to me is it is better to have tried and failed than not to have tried at all. I have read many urban legends of people on their deathbeds leaving words of wisdom on what they regret the most. Well, they may be imagined or mere legends, but to me, the message is true. These people on their deathbeds say that the thing they regret the most is not doing something they wanted to do because of fear or lack of time or opportunity or any other seemingly valid reason. They regret not travelling while they are mobile, not proposing to a lost love, not having kids, not taking a job they love, not hugging their children more, not eating cake and ice-cream, not using the best fine bone china displayed in the glass show cabinets, and not opening that bottle of perfume marked “ for special occasion only”.
As for failure, well, it makes us value success even more.The yin and yang principle stipulates that balance is created when you have almost the same things from opposite sides.A good amount of sad to appreciate happy, some tumultuous episodes in your life to balance out the peacefully harmonious episodes, a few fights with your spouse to enjoy the blissful times ,and a little illness to appreciate good health.
Failure also makes people more resilient. I have read somewhere that most successful people have failed many many times before they got to where they are. I think that successful businesses, especially now during pandemic times, just learned better how to mitigate failure. And they will still learn which makes me think that success is really just failure mitigation in progress.
IV. My perception of things change as I get older.
The fourth big lifelong lesson i learned is that my perception of things change as I age. The same movie I watched and disliked 10 years ago can be my favorite movie now. But that is veering towards the extreme. My perception of things evolved mellowly. So this realization helped me to empathise with every person in my life. To understand where they are coming from, I step into their shoes and imagine what is it that they are perceiving about the issue at hand or any other issue, for that matter. It helps me to be more patient and understanding and empathetic if I see where people are coming from.
V. Love conquers all.
Fifth, last and most controversial big life lesson I learned is that love conquers all. I think love is the only thing that can solve all our problems.We have to understand love in the bigger context. Example is the only way to solve pollution would be for everyone to love the earth or everyone to love their children who will inherit the earth. Of course this also applies in the micro scenario e.g. our personal relationships. I often advice young people who have lovers’ quarrel (LQ) that the amount of patience they give to their partner only equals the amount of love they feel for that person. Controversial? Yes, but I firmly stand by it.